I previously posted my battle and struggle with Endometriosis, and with this disease comes so much more than just the pain. They tell you when you are diagnosed that if you get pregnant that it "cures" the endometriosis at least for 9 months. I have also had several people tell me, "Oh I had that when I was younger, but after my first pregnancy, it just went away." I'm a little skeptical to believe that, but a girl can dream, right? A few weeks before we moved, my pain started getting worse. It was always the worst at night. So, the first thing I did when we got here was find a doctor. I told her all my symptoms and poured my heart out to her. She laid out all of my options, from trying lupron (which basically puts you through menopause), starting a stronger birth control, hormone treatments, or to start actively trying to get pregnant.
Now, this wasn't the first time I had heard, oh you should start trying, BUT it was the first time someone explained why. In a nut shell, getting pregnant resets all of your hormones, causing the endometrial tissue to stop growing. If you know me really well, you know that I am a question girl! I like to know why and what and how. And if I was going to seriously consider it, I had to have a good reason as to why for Chase. ;-) We had already been dancing around the subject for a little while before going to the doctor, but hadn't decided anything. I felt like I've always been ready to have a baby. Growing up in a large family, always having babies around, and babysitting, taught me a lot. For a guy, it's totally different! It took me a little while to understand what the big deal was, but I get it now. :-) After much prayer and talking, we decided to go for it.
I always thought growing up, that when you got ready to have a baby, it would just happen. I never thought about, what if I actually have to try, what if it isn't easy, what if it doesn't happen in the first 3 months... It never even crossed my mind. No one wants to think about what if I have problems getting pregnant. Now, I did start worrying a little when diagnosed with endo, but I would just push it back and say no it won't happen to me. But it did...
The first 3 months went by and I started to worry a little. I went out and bought What to Expect before You are Expeting, and thought this is it. I'm going to follow this book to a tee and it will happen. Another three months went by and nothing happened. At this point it had been six months, the last thing the doctor told me was if I did decide to start trying and nothing happened in six months to come back. And then she said it.... We will start looking into another laparoscopy surgery to remove the scar tissue and any active endo. I was not giving up that easy though. I didn't want to have to go through another surgery, especially being 3 hours away from our family. Chase and I talked about it, and decided we would keep trying, that if it didn't happen in a year, then we would consider the surgery.
I began getting so down and depressed. All I could think about was how it'll never happen for me. People all around me started getting pregnant, and it would hurt. It seems so silly, but when you are in the situation, it is a lot different! There are a lot of people out there, who have been trying so much longer than I have, and yet it still hasn't happened for them and they haven't lost faith. I honestly don't know how! Nine months in, I was done. I just knew I was going to have to go through another surgery and then I would probably have to take fertility treatments. It just seemed so unfair! Here I am pouring my heart out to God, living a godly life, and these people just get pregnant and they weren't even trying... I felt like no one understood what I was going through.
The whole time we were going through this, I kept finding myself being drawn to the story of Abraham and Sarah. I knew if God could work a miracle in their life, it could happen in mine. This story was my hope. With God all things are possible.
After what seemed to be an eternity, many tears, and a whole lot of worry, we finally got the result we wanted... Two days after Chase's birthday. I woke up at 5:30 from having a dream about being pregnant. Call me crazy, but I just had a feeling. So I went and took at the only test I had. I had to do like 5 double takes, because I couldn't believe it. I couldn't hold in my excitement, but I didn't want to tell Chase until I knew for sure. I had to tell someone though. After all that we went through, I couldn't hold it in. And who does a girl always go to... her bff! Who of course was asleep too. ;-) I decided to go get another test, so I told Chase I was going to get him breakfast and would be back in a few. I got and took the other test at the store, along with a few goodies for my hubby. And of course it was positive. :-)
I get back home with breakfast and a present for Chase, since you know it was just his birthday. I handed him a card and told him he had to read it first. The card was signed by Baby H, apologizing for being 2 days late. ;-) This was his present and reaction... He had to re-read the card, because he skipped the last page. I kept having to tell him, you're forgetting a page.
A few days later, we called my parents and our siblings letting them know. But since we were celebrating Mr. Tracy's birthday that Friday, we decided to wait to surprise him and Mrs. Chon. And it was so worth the reaction we got! We got a onesie that said "Grandpa is my biggest fan" and put it in a bag under a Life is Good t-shirt. :-)
We were so overwhelmed by everyone's love and support when we announced it. This baby has been prayed for and loved for a long time, and we are thrilled to be able to be parents! July can not get here fast enough!!
So far, pregnancy hasn't been too bad. It could always be worse, right? Up until this week I've been nauseous all day, just about everyday. Although, I've only truly gotten sick 4 times, the nausea is pretty bad. And the cravings are crazy! I always thought that cravings were just kinda like in your head... But boy was I wrong!!! When I get a craving all I can taste, think about, and want is that. I've wanted everything from pickles, watermelon, steak, boiled peanuts, and chocolate cake.
We went to the baby doctor Dec 1st, and were finally able to see our little. (S)he had a heartbeat of 174, although we couldn't hear it, the doctor said it was very strong. And while I'm pulling for a girl, the hubs is pulling for a boy. ;-) Either way, we can't wait to meet baby H!
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
